Just Say No
by IceGoddessII
Summary: Revised:: Yusuke and the gang, plus weed and alcoholic beverages equals chaos! Tweek! Tweek! Hehe! This is pretty impromptu, I wrote this 'cause I was bored. :I
1. Bored Senseless

**Author's Note: **Okay, while I'm waiting for my chapters from my material to go through beta I figure I'd post something to let you guys know I'm still alive just, on the 'waiting list' so to say. Also I was just watching "Comic View" and it gave me this idea. What if Yusuke and the gang got high, how would they act? Okay, okay, okay, I know it's dumb as hell, but what can I say...I was _bored _as hell! So don't kill me if it righteously sucks! Anyways, here goes.

_**Disclaimer: **I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, and that's probably a good thing because if it were up to me, they'd all be lacking brain cells sinfully. x-)_

_**Summary: **Yusuke and the gang plus weed and alcoholic beverages equals chaos! Tweek Tweek! Hehe! Yusuke thinks he's Pikachu and has shortened his vocabulary to two famous words. Kuwabara starts talking to imaginary spongemonkey's. (Those freakishly creepy looking hampster-like things from the Quizno's Sub's commercial). Kurama get's frustrated because he can't remember basic math principles. Hiei gets cold and starts seeing dead people. Botan has strange cravings. Shizuru accidentally breaks Yukina's 300 Gucci sunglasses. Yukina tries to make herself cry in order to pay for a new pair but can't stop laughing. Keiko can't tell the difference between Pu-chan and Yusuke._

* * *

Rain-clouds covered the late afternoon sun that barely peered in through Kuwabara's basement windows. Little droplets of rain began their rapping on the glass as Yusuke and the rest of the gang all sat in the finished basement with most disappointed stares. There was absolutely nothing to do. Koenma hadn't assigned any missions for a full month now, it was the summer after high school graduation, and now as if on cue with their boredom, it was raining. They had all spent most of the summer just hanging out and about at the beach, the mall, or the movies. The mall was roughly the girls main place to hang, but the guys occassionally tagged along when they felt up to the task. Even Hiei found himself hanging around them more often, but that was only to escape Mukuro. The woman had this rather disturbing infactuation with him, and so he fled to Ningenkai to evade her. He still maintained his stoic offstandish persona, however.

Though it was nearly a quarter past four in the afternoon, the sky showed that of a dark and gloomy atmosphere, which made the day seem even more dull.

"I'm bored! There's nothing to do" Kuwabara finally shouted.

"Way to state the obvious big guy." Yusuke retorted.

"Puuuu." Pu-chan responded sadly.

"How long has it been raining for now" Botan questioned with a sigh.

Kurama glanced at his watch. "About half an hour." He added with a gentle sigh.

"Man, this blows! We'll never be able to go to Woodland Point now! (A/N: My version of Cedar Point, I know lame...but what the hell -P). And I was really looking forward to that new rollercoaster they've got" Kuwabara pouted.

"Yeah, I've heard that it's supposed to be the tallest, fastest rollercoaster in the world" Keiko added.

"Yeah, I know. It's already killed two people" Shizuru commented.

"Dammit! That is so cool" Kuwabara shouted.

"What portion of that is in any way 'cool' little brother" Shizuru questioned with a glare.

"Well, I don't mean it's cool that those people died, that sucks. I mean, the ride must be pretty bad ass, if it's already killed two people" Kuwabara explained.

"That's strange reasoning." Yukina stated dryly.

"Yeah, but it only proves how daring and brave I am" Kuwabara gloated.

"Whatever." Shizuru added with a sigh.

"Anyway, so what are we gonna do? This is _yous guys' _place, what do you have in mind" Yusuke directed his question towards Kuwabara and Shizuru.

"I...err..." Kuwabara thought.

"Umm...err..." Shizuru stroked her chin to come up with an idea for entertainment.

As if having a light bulb go off in his head, Kuwabara snapped his fingers and perked. "I know! We could watch a movie" He trotted over to the entertainment system and began to call off the choices. "Anbody wanna see..."The Bourne Identity""

"Seen it" Everyone chorused.

"Okay...how about"X-Men"" Kuwabara listed the movies one by one.

"Seen it" The gang chorused again.

"Alrighty...then what about..._"Glitter""_ Kuwabara called off the movie as if to say, 'how the hell did _that _get in there?'

"Seen it" Hiei was the only one who yelled out an answer, to which everyone gave him a questioning stare.

"Pu" Pu-chan responded as he floated over Yusuke's head.

Everyone continued to stare at Hiei.

"What" Hiei bit back.

"When the hell did you see that" Yusuke questioned with a grin.

"Well, I can assure you it wasn't intentional. You're blue-haired friend over there forced me to watch it as payment to win back my freedom." Hiei explained dryly.

Everyone's attention turned over to Botan, who was blushing sheepishly. "Well, I had to make him earn it somehow" Botan commented.

"I can understand that, but the second time around was of your own wishes. If I recall correctly it was _you _who went through an entire box of tissues." Hiei retorted.

Botan sweat-dropped as she hid her bright red face behind a couch pillow.

"Well, it seems like everyone has seen every movie we own." Kuwabara stood scratching his head.

"Damn, I miss having a life." Yusuke sighed as he rested his head back on the arm of the couch.

They all nodded in agreement, and just sat in silence for what seemed to be an eternity. Finally, another idea popped into Kuwabara's head as he ardently hopped to his feet. "I got it" Kuwabara shouted with a slight chuckle.

"What is it this time" Yusuke sighed impatiently.

"You guys are gonna love this" Kuwabara chuckled as he ran towards the basement steps and headed upstairs.

"Now where's he off to" Yukina questioned.

"Who knows." Yusuke sighed as he closed his eyes out of boredom.

"One thing you gotta learn about my little brother, he succeeds to fail to make sense." Shizuru slurred as she to rested her head on the back of the 'Lazi-Boy' recliner chair, and closed her eyes.

"Oh." Yukina cocked her head to the side as if to marinate on Shizuru's semi-confusing words.

"If that fool _fails_ to have anything interesting to do, than I'm leaving." Hiei responded coldly as he abruptly stood to his feet.

"I might have to agree with Hiei on that note. This day is most definitely not getting any better." Yusuke sighed.

"It just did! Wait 'til you guys get a load of this" Kuwabara yelled from the top of the steps.

"It better not be some stupid-ass board game! I fucking hate those" Yusuke yelled to the other boy.

"Quit complaining and help me carry some of this shit down, would ya" Kuwabara bit back.

Rising lazily to their feet, Yusuke and Kurama went to his aide. Narrowing their eyes as to what the orange-haired boy was bringing into the mix, they sauntered up the steps. Finally reaching Kuwabara, they noticed he was carrying a wooden, medium-sized treasure chest-like box, complete with a lock, along with a cooler. They warily questioned him on what he had in store for all of them.

"Hey, what's in the box" Yusuke questioned.

"You'll see." Kuwabara grinned walking ahead of them down the steps, treasure chest in hand.

"This had better be good." Yusuke eyed Kurama who nodded in response to his comment.

Kuwabara sat the treasure chest down beside the coffee table in the middle of the basement's semi-living area. Following behind with the cooler, Yusuke and Kurama sat their charge down beside the chest. Standing beside Kuwabara, they eyed him as he pulled the key from his pocket and began to unlock the chest.

"Trust me, you guys are gonna freak over this" Kuwabara gloated as he bent down to unlock the chest. Opening it slowly, he smiled as he heard the inward breaths of his friends sound around him.

"No way" Yusuke grinned as he knelt down beside Kuwabara wide-eyed.

"I thought you'd like it" Kuwabara smiled.

They all rose from their seats and gathered around the open chest. "What is it" Yukina questioned looking over Keiko's shoulder.

"The end to our boredom, and the beginning of a _real _party" Kuwabara grinned as he began to remove the contents from the chest and place them stratigically on the coffee table. First removing two cylindrical, glass objects and placing them adjacent to one another. Two more glass tube-like objects, similar to the first two but more colorful, along with a couple of lighters. A small cardboard box that read 'Wraps' on it. (A/N: Equivalent to "Tops" guys). And two plastic sandwich bags with green, _grass_-like substances in them.

"What's that smell" Yukina questioned once again, wrinkling her nose.

"That babe, is the sweet smell...of _happiness_" Kuwabara mused opening the box that was labled 'Wraps.'

"I don't know guys this may not be such a good idea." Keiko was hesitant.

"I think I'm with you Keiko." Botan agreed.

"Oh don't worry guys, you don't have to if you don't want to. You can just sit here and hang while the rest of us get so fucked up, we don't even _remember_ the meaning of boredom. Hey if push comes to shove, maybe you guys can watch "_Glitter_."" Shizuru teased, kneeling in front of the coffee table waiting for her share of the wealth.

Keiko gave her an evil glare. "Hey Kuwabara, roll me up one" Keiko shouted angrily, taking a spot next to Shizuru.

"Same here" Botan shouted taking kneeling on the other side of the table.

"Uh-uh ladies, self-serve here" Kuwabara shot back with a smiling wink.

"Perhaps Keiko has a point. The usage of such substances could cause temporary damage to our cerebrum's causing us to act highly out of character, and possibly become incoherent." Kurama commented stroking his chin.

"Oh we'll be acting 'highly' alright! As for being out of character, I don't think that will be a problem for all of us. After all, one of us here already seems to be on a permanent high." Yusuke grinned nudging Kuwabara who was in the process of rolling his own personal joint.

Sighing, Kurama rolled his eyes as if to say, 'what the hell,' and knelt down beside Botan.

Soon all but Hiei surrounded the coffee table, studying it's contents hungrily.

"Hey Hiei, aren't you going to join us" Yusuke yelled over to the stoic Fire Demon.

"I have no intentions of making a fool out of myself." Hiei retorted.

"So, I assume you intend on becoming bored out of your mind." Yusuke added.

"I don't have to stay here with you fools, I can always leave." Hiei bit back.

"Yes and thus risk meeting back up with _Mukuro _again." Yusuke added teasingly to which everyone in the room fattened with a barage of 'oooooh's.'

Considering his ultimatum, Hiei had the choice of joining in their acts and being made a fool of, or fleeing and risking the chance of running into the lovestruck Mukuro, and being made a fool of. Gritting his teeth and rolling his eyes, he reluctantly joined the group and perched himself on the couch.

"Um...Kazuma, what is this stuff anyway" Yukina questioned from her spot around the table.

"This baby, is a little piece of paradise" Kuwabara smiled grabbing hold of the lighter as he lit his freshly rolled joint. Taking a slow drag and inhaling the intoxicating fumes, he shifted his gaze over to Yukina. "This is that _good _shit" Kuwabara added with a slight cough.

"Yeah, what is it" Yukina questioned once again.

"It's weed Yukina. Marijuana to be more precise." Shizuru answered before taking a drag of her own joint.

"Marijuana? What's that" Yukina questioned curiosity filling her ruby-red eyes.

"It's a type of plant. Usually found in more tropical climates such as South America. Most Marijuana is found in Columbia and Mexico. It was first used for medicinal purposes, but was then found to have better more euphorious affects on one's conscious state, and before anyone realized, it became a highly addictive drug." Kurama explained as he licked his wrapping paper.

"Affect's one's concious state" Yukina was trying to understand.

"It kinda makes you feel like you're in a dream, it's hard to explain, you just have to try it." Yusuke explained as he took a slow drag from his joint. "Trust me...you won't...regret it" Yusuke managed to cough out.

Yukina eyed her friends all rolling their own personal joints. "How do you make one" Yukina questioned.

"Oh don't worry, you can just use the bong, it's easier to prepare than rolling." Kuwabara pushed the bong in front of Yukina with the burning contents scorching in it's bottom. "Here, you put your mouth here and inhale it like...a straw." Kuwabara assisted the Ice Demon.

Glancing around at her friends all taking drags from their joints and coughing, she began to hesitate. Just then her eyes rested upon her brother, who was sprawled out on the couch taking drags off of his own joint and making circle designs with his smoke puffs. If she wasn't mistaken, he seemed to appear to have done this before. Brushing her thoughts away, she focused her attention back on the glass object in front of her. Taking her 300 Gucci shades off and placing them on the table, she placed her mouth on the straw-like portion of the object and inhaled heavily. Coughing and hacking furiously, she pulled back abruptly.

"Hey, you okay" Kuwabara spared her a glance.

Finally gaining composure, she felt a rush come over her and began to feel as if the world was dancing around her. "Yeah! This feel's kind of good" Yukina added with a smile.

"Told you" Yusuke responded.

She continued to take drags from the bong.

The basement was filled with a heavy cloud of smoke. The gang all with their respected joints soon began to feel themselves overcome with different emotions of euphoria.

* * *

After hours of smoking and drinking, the gang began to get beside themselves. Things were beginning to get weird. _Very_ weird.

"Hey...you guys ever...think about...stuff" Yusuke slurred from his proned position on the floor. Leaning his head on the back of a strayed couch pillow he gazed at the ceiling.

"Puuuuu." Pu-chan slurred. Between the intoxicating fumes and his spiritual connection to Yusuke, he too was beginning to feel...enlightened.

"Err...whadaya mean" Kuwabara slurred, he was leaning back in the recliner staring at the ceiling as well.

"Like...you know...stuff. Like...do blind people..._see_ in their _dreams_" Yusuke slurred.

"Eh" Keiko grunted, resting her head on Yusuke's leg.

"Or like...how long do you have to like...wait at a stop sign before it turns green" Yusuke groggily added.

"Uh-Uh" Shizuru commented.

"Hmm." Yusuke slurred.

* * *

A few more hours of smoking and drinking and the scene was now a complete circus. Things had definitely taken a turn for the worse and ridiculously hilarious. Somewhere between the potency of weed, and malt liquor, all reason and common sense disappeared, and before they knew it...chaos and plain freakiness ensued...

_Teen drinking, is very bad...  
Yo I got a fake ID though_

_Yeah...yeah...yeah. 2 step with me, 2 step with me_

_1 here comes the two to the 3 to the four  
Everybody drunk out on the dance floor  
Babygirl ass jiggle like she want more  
Like she a groupie, and I ain't even on tour..._

The music was blasting as Shizuru danced around the room, moving her hips to the loud hip-hop beats of the music.

_...Now everybody in the club gettin' tipsy (everybody in the club gettin' tipsy)  
Now everbyody in the club gettin' tipsy (everbody in the club gettin' tipsy)  
_

Jumping around the room she finally made it over to the coffee table and began to perform a table dance. Not noticing Yukina's very expensive shades that were present, she accidently crushed them beneath her heel, leaving nothing but glass and metal in it's wake.

"Hey! Shizuru" Yukina slurred while laughing groggily.

"What" Shizuru yelled annoyed.

"You like...totally smashed my glasses." Yukina continued to laugh.

"Just get some more" Shizuru yelled back.

"But it's so much money...and...stuff." Yukina giggled.

"Hon! You're fucking _made _out of money. Literally! Go over in a corner and cry yourself some money and buy a new pair, geez" Shizuru continued to dance to the music and couldn't help but shake her rump harder as the song ended with it's booming beat.

_...Here comes the 5, to the 4, to the 3  
Hands in the air if you cats drunk as me  
Club on the set kwon cut out them trees,  
Dude I don't care I'm a p.i.m.p..._

Yukina ran in the corner and began numerous attempts to make herself cry. From pinching and stomping on her own feet, she couldn't stop herself from laughing. "Ow! That like...really hurt and stuff." Yukina giggled.

She grabbed hold of a paper weight and smashed her finger with it. "Hey guys...I'm mutilating myself over here! Ow! That's gonna leave a mark" She giggled.

"No, no...this can't be! This isn't happening" Kurama was distressed and holding his head as he crouched over on the floor.

"What's wrong" Botan asked nibbling on a piece of wrapping paper.

"I can't differentiate between addition and subtraction! How can this be! No, the god's have frowned upon me" Kurama began to shake his head from side to side. "One plus one is...zero? Or is it two? No, this isn't happening! I'm done for" Kurama began pulling at his hair.

"Hey maybe we can help" Kuwabara volunteered as he jogged over to Kurama with his palms outstretched.

"Who's _we_" Botan asked as she swallowed the contents in her mouth.

"Botan, Kurama, meet, Fluffy, Butterball, and Rollie." Kuwabara was holding out empty palms.

"Who" Botan asked, taking another bite out of her wrapping papers.

"The spongemonkey's in my hands. I gave them all names, see Fluffy's the fluffy one, Butterball's the fat one, and Rollie likes to roll...see" Kuwabara was grinning ear to ear.

"What the hell? Kuwabara, there's nobody there" Botan yelled.

Kuwabara drew in his hands as if to shield the invisible spongemonkey's. "Botan you're gonna hurt their feelings"

"I'M NOTHING" Kurama screamed as he insanely ran around the room shouting out basic math problems...incorrectly.

"Don't worry, I won't let her hurt you my little spongemonkey's. She just doesn't understand us." Kuwabara began making petting motions with his hands.

"Dammit, I'm still hungry" Botan eyed the room before her eyes fell upon the couch. The white fluffy pillows reminded her of marshmallows. Her mouth began to water as she charged for the couch and took in a mouthful of fabric.

"What was that" Kuwabara put his ear up to his empty palms. "Eat Quizno's Subs? Oh you guys! You're so hilarious" Kuwabara began to laugh manically.

"Nothing's funny" Hiei shouted.

"What's wrong shrimp" Kuwabara chuckled.

"Can't you see them" Hiei added as his eyes insanely darted from left to right continuously.

"What" Kuwabara questioned looking around.

"They're everywhere. They're surrounding us! I see them! They won't go away" Hiei answered frantically.

"Dude, what the fuck are you talking about? What do you see" Kuwabara questioned still making petting motions with his hands.

Hiei moved in closer to Kuwabara. He warily glanced around the room as if to be examining the security of every corner. His eyes widened as they bored into Kuwabara's. "I. See. Dead people" Hiei whispered hoarsely.

"Er" Kuwabara slurred. "You what" Kuwabara questioned groggily.

Hiei violently collared up Kuwabara. "You have to get rid of them! They're whispering to me! They won't stop! Tell them to leave" Hiei yelled.

"Dude easy, you're going to make me drop the spongemonkey's" Kuwabara backed away from Hiei.

Hiei began to shiver and hug himself. "It's so cold. So very cold. I can't get out! They won't let me out." Hiei collapsed on the floor and began to rock back and forth while whispering 'I can't get out' over and over incoherently.

"Yusuke why won't you talk anymore" Keiko slurred eyeing both Yusuke and Pu-chan.

"Pu" Pu-chan was floating around Yusuke who was bouncing up and down yelling 'pika-pika' over and over.

"Yusuke why won't you listen to me" Keiko slurred again, this time eyeing Yusuke.

"Pika" Yusuke bent down to face Keiko. "Pika-pika" Yusuke continued to hop around like an overly-excited child in a zoo.

"Yusuke" Keiko was looking at Pu-chan now.

"Pu" Pu-chan started to float around Keiko's head screaming 'Pu' over and over. While Yusuke kept jumping around screaming 'pika-pika' over and over.

"Yusuke" Keiko looked at Yusuke. "Yusuke" She looked at Pu-chan. "What the hell? Which one of you is Yusuke" Keiko screamed placing her hands on her head in frustration.

Yes, it was truly a sight. Between the ridiculously loud music, and the half-insane occupants of the basement, one would think that they had slipped into a nut-house.

"WHAT THE HELL IS FIVE PLUS FIVE"

"Why are these marshmallows so stale"

"I can't get out"

"Ow! Dammit! Why can't I cry" (Insert inappropriate giggle here).

"_...My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like 'it's better than yours.' Damn right, it's better than yours. I could teach you, but I have to charge!_"

"What was that Fluffy? Of course I wanna eat Quizno's Sub's! You're too much Fluffy! NO WAY! Sub's are a dollar off? I'm SO gonna eat there"

"Pika, pika, pika, pika, pika, pika..."

"Puuuuuuuu"

"Stop it! I can't take this anymore, dammit! Which one of you is Yusuke"

The circus lasted for hours on end. Not a soul was present in their right state of mind. It wasn't until good after dark that they all finally tweeked themselves to sleep. And it wasn't until the morning after that they all had to face...the consequences. Between the hangover's and just looking rather dishevled, in the shambled basement, they all were rather confused as to the night's previous event's and could say no more than those three little words that came to their minds...

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

...The moral of this story: Just say no to drugs! ;-) Oh yeah, and stay in school, become a productive member of society, and all that other positive shit!

* * *

**Author's Note: **I know what you're thinking...'what the hell? was the _author_ high when she wrote this?' I'll leave that by saying...three fifths of Koolaid, does that answer your question-D Well, I know this story was short, but hey there's only so much you can say about a group of people getting high, and then tweeking out. -P I hope you liked this BS of a story. Like I said it was impromptu, and well I was really making everything up as I went along. So anyways the real deal of stories will continue as soon as they go through beta. Until then...thank's for BSing around with me! Holla! ;-)

IceGoddess -High off of Grape/Cherry Koolaid, thus this rather insane and senseless story was born for your reading pleasure...or disdain.

REVISED 2/14/05


	2. What the hell is this chapter here for?

**Author's Note:**...No really...what the hell is this chapter here for?

_**Disclaimer: **I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho and...why the hell am I even typing this when I did this with the last chapter?_

Their heads all felt like they were the size of Buicks. The basement appeared as if it were spinning, and they all felt a sudden rush of guilt flood their half-conscious states.

"Errr...what the hell happened" Yusuke slurred groggily.

"I don't know. My head is killing me" Kuwabara complained rubbing the back of his cranium.

"It's just as I expected." Kurama hissed as he slowly sat up from his place on the floor.

"What do you mean 'it's just as you expected?'" Yusuke questioned.

"It appears that the drugs had a mind altering affect on our conscious states." Kurama explained rubbing his temple. "Yet none of us remember last nights events."

"Well I remember a little." Yukina volunteered.

"Please, do share." Kurama persisted.

"Well I remember seeing Shizuru dancing around to very loud music..." Yukina trailed off.

"Yes, yes...I remember there being loud music as well." Kurama began.

"And then, she broke my glasses." Yukina continued.

"You mean those 300 Gucci shades you just bought" Shizuru questioned as if to be shocked on her actions.

"Yes."

"Oh damn, I'm sorry Yukina, I'll buy you a new pair, I swear" Shizuru was sincere.

"Oh, it's okay Shizuru, you don't have to do that. I remember you telling me that I could use my tears as payment, so I'll just do that, okay"

Shizuru nodded with a guilty grin.

"What else do you remember Yukina" Keiko questioned.

"Well that's about it, everything else is kind of blurry." Yukina answered.

The room was slightly silent for a while until it was broken by a loud raspy voice.

"Well! I don't know about you guys, but I've got the munchies big time! Anybody for Quizno's, I've suddenly got this weird urge to eat there." Kuwabara perked, scratching his head absently.

"No, I'm oddly full at the moment" Botan commented picking a long cotton strand out of her teeth with widened eyes. "among other things."

"Anybody else" Kuwabara offered.

"I could go for that, Keiko" Yusuke offered a hand to his squeeze.

"Sounds great, Yukina" Keiko stood sparing the Ice Demon a glance.

"Sure, why not, Shizuru" Yukina turned to face the other girl.

"Yeah, I'll just get my coat. Kurama you gonna join us" Shizuru glanced at the red-headed boy behind her.

"Food sounds nice, what about you Hiei? Are you coming along"

:Dead silence:

"Hiei" Kurama turned on his heels to where the Fire Demon was sitting. "Hiei"

He turned to see Hiei crouched on the floor hugging himself. "Hiei, is everything okay" Kurama questioned most concerned.

"SPONGEMONKEY'S! AHHHH" Hiei ran up the basement steps at top speed brushing himself off frantically as if he were covered in bugs.

Looking most confused, they all crowded at the bottom of the basement steps and watched as the distraught Fire Demon made his fervid exit.

"...So." Kuwabara began. "Quizno's it is then."

They all made their exit and headed for the spongemonkey infested restaurant.

And thus ends this very strange story for good this time, I promise. ;-)

**Author's Note:** ...I STILL don't know what the hell this chapter is here for. -l.

REVISED 2/14/05


End file.
